a poem I wrote today

a poem I wrote this morning in the bathroom . . .

lifeline

so many pitfalls
so many reasons to digress
or disintegrate
into a lump of unspeaking
unrecognized
 rage

so many letdowns
failures
and put-downs
so many so-called friends
who've wandered away

what is the real price
of paying the piper
subjected
submerged
subdued
. . . significant loss
emotional traumas
that now present themselves
as physical embodiments

so you run it out
in rampage
infect everything unknown
throw yourself into a tantrum
of uncoverable circumstance

oh, if only
someone had thrown you . . .
a lifeline you desired
instead of only making you do
what was required of you

understanding escapes the view
 of them
 of you
incomprehensible means
are now evident
as what is left
. . . struggles and grieves

 (after the latest killings: Santa Barbara & Seattle)

 C. Steven Blue 6/6/14